A Brief Synopsis
Fire ants are terrible. Really, really terrible. They are practically gnawing my feet off.
The Holy Spirit is incredible. (and so is Benadryl Itch Stopping Cream)
The Skinny
The team is in – all 41 of them. It was overwhelming at first, but I’m starting to warm to all of them. Its been a wild week of watching them open up and lay out the things in their lives that have been choking them for a while, the things that get in the way of living and being alive. Abusive pasts, addictions to anything and everything, pride, the approval we start to look for under every rock. God shows up as those things come out – as we take everything we’ve kept in the dark and let Him shine his light on it.
Redemption = Good Day
Today my heart was pretty heavy. I woke up to a voicemail from a friend, apologizing for missing my call and letting me on some pretty bad family news. It weighed on me all day. We went out and did ministry today – tried to meet some families in a Hispanic neighborhood. I was a million miles away – thinking about my friend, thinking about her family, thinking about all kinds of things and people that I’m leaving behind.
To be honest it shut me down. During worship I couldn’t really even bring myself to sing. I paced the back of the room praying and asking God to redeem things, restore things, mend broken relationships, hold people together.
Once worship was over we moved into team time. 41 of us in a circle, and there really wasn’t much of a plan. We were going to play a game and go to bed, but God kind of twisted the plan around. I shared about how my day had gone – heavy heart and hung up on other things. Last year I was leaving behind really close friends, a really sick grandpa, and a friend who called me every weekend crying drunk and giving up on life. It was really hard to leave them behind, to give up any kind of control in those situations and dive into all new relationships and ministry on the other side of the world. So we asked if anyone had for the next couple of hours I watched God redeem a day that I thought had been lost. I asked the team to share things that were hard to leave behind. Story after story hit the floor of people back home who needed them in some way – people they felt like they were failing by leaving behind – people they weren’t sure would still be alive when they come home – people in really hard places – and just, flat out, simple people who love them well. It broke my heart. And for every story – another teammate prayed for the situations.
We ended the night praying that God would break our hearts for every other member of the team – that as we head out to dig into the lives of people in South Africa, we wouldn’t neglect digging into the lives of our team – in spite of tired we are or how irritating the other person is. That we could be like Jesus and cry with eachother, but also point each other to hope and the gospel.
We read Psalm 126 and took hope in the fact that as we go out, the tears we cry might take root and eventually yield some crops, a harvest that stirs up a song in our hearts and turns our joy into laughing – by the grace of God.
It’s not surprising. Everyone is carrying a lot. And slowly we are learning to carry eachother.
We leave for the airport at 4:30 am Monday morning. Pray for good pilots, good airplane food, and good rest. I can’t believe how soon I will be in Africa. I am terribly excited.
Thanks for everything.
-matt
Hi Matt,
Sounds like God has you right where He wants you open, transparent, honest qualities that make a leader I would want to follow. Lead on.
Elaine Bonds
I pray the Holy Spirit is with you every minute, leading and guiding your every step and word. I pray for the safety of the team. I pray for the effectiveness of your ministry.
You may be on your own with the airplane food…
Enjoyed your post. Have a good flight!
Matt………my heart goes out to you. I was touched by what you wrote….and yes, I imagine it is almost unbearable at times to think about what you are leaving behind. Know that I am praying for you…our family is praying for you….our friends and family are praying for you….and our church is lifting you up in prayer. May you feel that hedge of protection and security and love. We are not with you in body but we are with you every day in our thoughts and prayers. God Bless You as you travel to Africa to share God’s love. I love you…..Aunt Myra.
Hey Matt! by the time you read this you will probably be in S.A. I just wanted to let you know that i am really praying for you and the team! Thanks for sharing this story! It’s so amazing to see how God works and rearranges plans! It is really exrciting to hear about another team going to JBay! Well, i hope you travels are great and that this first week goes great! I miss you a lot! Tell everyone hello for me!
Rachel