In the midst of all of this 'missionary' business there are times when life starts to seem rather complicated.  I've never believed that life was complicated.  Two people in this world have the antithesis, 'life.is.simple,' tattooed on their arms in my handwriting - a testimony to a time in my life when I was almost militant about life's simplicity and making it known.

 

I still believe its simple.  But every now and then things pile up in front of you.

 

Everything from the big ideas:

- the tension of relationships

- the ugliness of poverty

- the loneliness that gets so hard to shake

- the darkness of your own heart

- the sinking feeling of unbelief and little faith

 

to the menial parasites of day to day life:

- car trouble (or worse, bicycle trouble!)

- this mean cough (its breaking up)

- to-do lists that read like ancient scrolls

- the spot your forgot to shave

- the stain on your t-shirt (that has outsmarted Tide-to-Go, SHOUT, and the whole family of stain removers)

 

They all get together and put on a complicated parade complete with marching bands playing death marches and blimp sized balloons of Snoopy's evil twin.  All of it leads you to fear and worry.  It makes your heart sink and turns your faith into something like a whoopee cushion.  There's not much hope for stepping around them and you can't keep your eyes off.  You start to feel stuck and you get a bit myopic.  "Maybe life is a bit more complicated than I thought," you think.  And you think, and you think, and you think.

 

Then there are days in this 'missionary' business where life just seems so incredibly simple that you start to wonder why you ever started watching that damn parade.  Its not that the parade is over, its just that something makes you turn around.

 

A friend sticks around on the day you feel like Mr. Potter, the sunset sneaks up on you and makes your jaw drop, street kids show you grace when you break your promises again and again.  Somehow the love of God makes itself known - taps you on the shoulder, whistles from somewhere behind you, and gets you to take your eyes off of Droopy Snoopy and the Death Star house band.

 

 

You  start realize there's another parade going on in the alley that revolves around mustard seeds and underdogs.  The music is a little out of tune and everyone's out of step but its a really good song - the best song - and every now and then it all comes together.  The melody breaks through at the same time as the sun and you know that its all headed towards redemption.  The gospel becomes bright and clear and Jesus is on the bullhorn saying, "See, I am making all things new."

 

God makes a parade out of creation.  "Look, child!  I feed the birds.  I make outfits for the grass.  I'll take care of you, you can count on that.  You're worth everything to me.  So come into the place where I rule.  Come find your place in my kingdom.  The rest is mine to worry about."

 

 

I keep trying to do my math according to this equation, to keep life simple, to make my one aim to seek the kingdom of God and his righteousness.  I'm trying to stop pretending that I'm an orphan - thinking that I need to take care of myself, look after my own needs, hoard manna in case God doesn't provide tomorrow.  I'm learning to trust again.  I'm trying to leave the parade of the world for the kingdom. 

 

I'd be silly to to think that Droopy Snoopy won't still creep in overhead and bring his shadows,

and the Death Star house band will probably learn more distracting songs, and play them louder and louder.

But I'd be a fool to think my Father won't provide.

I'd be a dead man to think his love can't trump the world's parade.

The students are all in the full swings of their ministries.  My team is learning the ups and downs of the kids at the Joshua Project, and they are doing an incredible job of it.  Its exciting to watch some of the students really stepping out to bring new energy and ideas to their ministries.  Using their own gifts to add to what's already there.

 

We're in the process of finalizing the teams that we will be in once January hits.  It looks like I will be in Swaziland, a small kingdom that leeches off of the Northeast border of South Africa.  I spent a week there last year (you can read about it here).  Its a beautiful country - rural in a lot of ways, mountains all over the place; but it's a dark place - the AIDS rate in Swaziland is over 40% (the highest of any country in the world), witchcraft is pretty rampant, and the government is quite shaky, but on a positive note - it's where Coca Cola gets a lot of sugar for really cheap....  All of the teams that are coming together look amazing, and I am incredibly excited about the Swazi team.  Swaziland will be a tough place to lead and do ministry, but I have a lot of faith in the team that I'm being given.  God seems to have dumped a lot of grace out there.

On the good days I've been able to think a lot.  I've been spending a lot of time in John, right before Jesus gets betrayed (13-17).  Jesus' last conversation with the disciples before the resurrection - the last supper, the foot washing, the disciples not seeming to understand much, the promise of the Holy Spirit.  Its good, thick stuff.  In the last week I was asked to lead communion and teach on the Holy Spirit, so that's only dug me further into the text.

 

Sickness and sitting around all day have left my brain pretty mushy - so standing me in front of people to teach for a few hours is a strange idea.  But I think things have gone well, and that people have learned, and that regardless of my babbling the Spirit has pushed me aside and done some teaching of his own.  I'm grateful for that.

 

I wish there was more to update you about.  I'm sure there is more than I'm letting on.  But for now pray that this sickness would continue to fade out - and that I would be able to ease my way back into life and responsibilities here.  I feel like I've missed out on a lot.  Getting refocused will be hard, and having enough energy to do it well will be another challenge.

 

But the Father has been good.  He's been showing up in subtle ways and providing the things that I need - things I don't even know that I need.  I pray that He's doing the same for you.

It's strange to be back.  Things aren't quite the way I left them.  Some of my friends are in prison, some have disappeared, and some are worse off than when I left them.  It feels like the darkness that hangs over this place is heavier than before.  All of that hit pretty hard in the first few days – but God keeps reminding me that he's still here.

My friends that are still around haven't shut me out.  They still trust me and listen to me to some extent.  I'm learning all of the things that have changed in the world of the street kids – the hard stories about cold weather, rejection, power struggles, rape – but the basics are the same.  There are somewhere around fourteen boys in this town in desperate need of fathers and the Father – all hoping for redemption, whether they know it or not.

God has shifted my heart a lot in the last few months. I still have a flood of compassion for the street kids.  It has been a sweet, sweet thing to see them again and to get back into those relationships.  But this go round my ears are a little less tuned into their cries.  The focus of my ministry has shifted from the boys on the street to the students in the FYM program; but that's a difficult thing to explain to a bunch of streetkids that own some pretty sizable chunks of my heart.  Sorry boys, you've moved down the food chain once again.  I'm glad that God's ears aren't any less tuned to their cries, and I'm praying that He'll walk me through all of this shifting.

 

I'm discipling three of the guys from the team on a weekly one-on-one basis.  We meet up once a week to study scripture, to talk through the celebrations and struggles of ministry, and to vent the frustrations in living in small spaces full of lots of people.  It's the thing that Adventures in Missions does really well, and it's the place where we're praying to really see the students grow and come to a deeper understanding of what it means to follow Jesus.

 The guys I'm discipling are: Kevin King, Matthew Hussey, and Tyler Bussanich.  Pray that God will grow our relationships in a deep way, that all three of them would be challenged and encouraged by that relationship, and that God would give me wisdom as to which pieces of their lives need to be rooted up and which pieces that need to be poured into and called out.  That they might become the people God has called them to be, more than the kinds of people I want them to be.

 

Our teams have started visiting and assisting in their ministries.  My team is at Joshua Project, where I worked last year.  Others are at ministries ranging from kids to clinics to care centers for children born with disabilities and deformities.  The teams are doing well.  They've been pushed hard, they haven't had much of a break since we got here, and they've handled it really well.

Rest

Some of the team has been run a little ragged.  There is some sickness going around, and we're all pretty tired.  Ive been feeling a bit flu-ish the last few days and running a fever.  Pray for rest – the good kind.  Not just a good night's sleep, but the kind of rest that goes deep and makes you feel new again - the rest that comes under God's wings.  We need a lot of that.

A Brief Synopsis

Fire ants are terrible.  Really, really terrible.  They are practically gnawing my feet off.

The Holy Spirit is incredible. (and so is Benadryl Itch Stopping Cream)

 

The Skinny

The team is in - all 41 of them.  It was overwhelming at first, but I'm starting to warm to all of them.  Its been a wild week of watching them open up and lay out the things in their lives that have been choking them for a while, the things that get in the way of living and being alive.  Abusive pasts, addictions to anything and everything, pride, the approval we start to look for under every rock.  God shows up as those things come out - as we take everything we've kept in the dark and let Him shine his light on it.

 

Redemption = Good Day

Today my heart was pretty heavy.  I woke up to a voicemail from a friend, apologizing for missing my call and letting me on some pretty bad family news.  It weighed on me all day.  We went out and did ministry today - tried to meet some families in a Hispanic neighborhood.  I was a million miles away - thinking about my friend, thinking about her family, thinking about all kinds of things and people that I'm leaving behind.

 

To be honest it shut me down.  During worship I couldn't really even bring myself to sing.  I paced the back of the room praying and asking God to redeem things, restore things, mend broken relationships, hold people together.

 

Once worship was over we moved into team time.  41 of us in a circle, and there really wasn't much of a plan.  We were going to play a game and go to bed, but God kind of twisted the plan around.  I shared about how my day had gone - heavy heart and hung up on other things.  Last year I was leaving behind really close friends, a really sick grandpa, and a friend who called me every weekend crying drunk and giving up on life.  It was really hard to leave them behind, to give up any kind of control in those situations and dive into all new relationships and ministry on the other side of the world.  So we asked if anyone had  for the next couple of hours I watched God redeem a day that I thought had been lost.  I asked the team to share things that were hard to leave behind.  Story after story hit the floor of people back home who needed them in some way - people they felt like they were failing by leaving behind - people they weren't sure would still be alive when they come home - people in really hard places - and just, flat out, simple people who love them well.  It broke my heart.  And for every story - another teammate prayed for the situations.

 

We ended the night praying that God would break our hearts for every other member of the team - that as we head out to dig into the lives of people in South Africa, we wouldn't neglect digging into the lives of our team - in spite of tired we are or how irritating the other person is.  That we could be like Jesus and cry with eachother, but also point each other to hope and the gospel.

 

We read Psalm 126 and took hope in the fact that as we go out, the tears we cry might take root and eventually yield some crops, a harvest that stirs up a song in our hearts and turns our joy into laughing - by the grace of God.

 

It's not surprising.  Everyone is carrying a lot.  And slowly we are learning to carry eachother.

 

We leave for the airport at 4:30 am Monday morning.  Pray for good pilots, good airplane food, and good rest.  I can't believe how soon I will be in Africa.  I am terribly excited.

 

Thanks for everything.

 

-matt

I like the idea of titling my blog with song titles.  We'll see how long it lasts.  I'll make it even more interesting.  The first one to post the original artist of the song will win a prize.  A very good prize.  [You can challenge a winner by listing two artists who have covered the song (but this will only win if I like the cover version better than the original)].  I hope all of that was clear.  This week is easy (see figure 1-a)

 

 

Training Camp III

I am in Georgia right now at training camp, for the third time in one year.   Right now its just us leaders, sleeping in plywood cabins, showering with garden hoses, being beckoned to meals by a dinner bell.  We're being trained so that we can better lead for the next nine months.  Its been fun to see old friends and to get to know the leadership team for my trip.  I'll update more once the participants get here.

A few people have asked for my African mailing address, so I figured I'd post it here:

 

In one week I head down to Georgia for training camp before I leave for Africa on September 15.  It's back to packing and gathering goodbyes.  Here's an update for the moment.  Sorry my posts have been so few and dry lately.  That should all change soon.

 

I have raised a little over $6,000 of my initial goal of $10,000 for the year.  That leaves a little more than $3,000 to raise towards my living expenses while I am in Africa.  I'm humbled by the ways that I have seen money come in, and again, I really can't begin to thank all of you for your support.  I am completely dependent on it.  Your sacrifice and generosity are an example and a reminder of the way that God provides for his kids, and of the way that the church works as a body.

 

I've learned that the easiest way to pledge support is through the link on the left side of this blog.  There's a link that says SUPPORT ME and it takes you to a page where you can donate online with a credit card.  If you'd like to support but would rather use the postal service let me know and I can send an envelope your way.

 

Africa Update

For those you you who haven't gotten a good explanation of what I will be doing in Africa this go-round - I'll give a brief overview.

 

I will be helping to lead the program I participated in last year - Adventures In Mission's First Year Missions Program in Africa.  I will be a part of a team of leaders that will come alongside of 50 college-age participants.  The first four months will be spent in Jeffreys Bay, South Africa (the town I lived in last year) - where half of the time will be spent in ministry, and half the time will be spent in seminar type teachings on theology, ministry, culture, etc.  In January, the group of 50 will be split into 3 outreach teams.  Each of those teams will head to a different location where each participant will work at an internship with local ministries and churches.  My role will mainly be to disciple students, and walk with them into ministry, then in January I will lead an outreach team to one of the three locations.

 

I'm really excited about all of this.  I'm also really excited to get back to Jeffreys Bay, to see all of my friends their - especially a few hand fulls of streetkids, a Portugese cook, and the lanky dutchman who smells like Jesus.

I hope the summer has treated you all well.

 

-matt

Thank you all for keeping up with me, praying for me, and to all of you who have given to support me - I really cannot thank you enough.  I'll post again soon about all that's in my brain and all that's on the horizon.

 

love,

matt

 

We're down to the last few days and in the process of saying goodbyes and wrapping up ministry.  On Friday we started getting our taste of the rainy season, and since then we have encountered a few downpours.  In the Philippines people believe that if you go out in the rain, you will get sick, almost immediately.  That idea, paired with the fact that Basak becomes a mudslide when it rains, kept us from making it out to Basak on Saturday and Sunday.  It gave our team some time to rest and sort through some of the supplies we will be leaving behind with the church.

 

Yesterday the church gave us a Farewell celebration.  We went out to a beach resort on one of the other islands and spent the day swimming in the ocean, and in a few swimming pools around the place.  The weather stayed pretty clear most of the day.

 

We're hoping for the same weather today!  At noon we are headed out to Basak to visit with the kids and to say some of our goodbyes in Basak.

 

Tonight we will be visiting one of our friends Rick, an American who lives in Cebu and tutors local children from his home in the evenings.  We have met Rick and we have heard incredible things about the work he does with the children, so we can't wait to spend some time with him.

 

We are a lot of time this week debriefing our time here - trying to process what we've seen and done, and reflecting on what God has done in us during our time here.

 

Pray that our time here would end well.  That our goodbyes will be sweet and smooth, and that we will be able to serve and bless our hosts even more in our last few days.  Also pray that God starts to seal some of the work he's been doing in our lives, and that he would keep preparing us for life after the Philippines.

 

Thanks for all of your prayers.  We have seen so many of them answered, and we couldn't be more grateful.
 

Yesterday we began our ministry in Basak.  A community about half an hour away down quite a few bumpy roads.  We spent the day going door to door in the community learning about problems the people face, hearing their stories, and sharing some of our own stories.

Once 4:30 rolled around we gathered the children in some open space to sing songs, play some games, and to teach the story of the prodigal son.  They are an incredible group of kids, they sang really loud and were glued to the story while we acted it out.